Earlier this year, when I got serious about losing the excess weight I was carrying around, decreasing my chances of contracting diabetes and disease made up a big part of the reason why I wanted to lose weight. Of course I wanted to be thinner as well (because I have to admit… I’m pretty vain! Haha) but getting healthy was a huge factor.
A couple of months ago a Doctors check-up revealed that I was no longer in the ‘danger zone’ for diabetes. This news was awesome but not for a second did I think, “Great! Now I can just settle into a healthy pattern of eating and exercise and not worry about the weight loss part anymore”. Is that because I, like so many women out there, also feel the pressure to be thin? Could be. But I set myself a goal of 68kg and by god, no matter what I WILL get to it. Once I put my mind to something I am a force to be reckoned with and I will not give up.
I was chatting to my trainer (and most importantly, friend!) about how I’m starting to struggle finding balance between work, my relationship and losing weight. I’ve put so much into thinking about my health and my body that I felt like I was starting to let other areas in my life slide. She said, “Well, do you think you might be ready to stop with the weight loss and be happy with where you’re at now?”. Immediately I said, “No – that’s easy to answer. I am not happy with where I’m at now so that’s not going to happen”. So we launched into a plan on how to get the other areas in my life back on track. I’m happy with that plan and I’m already noticing positive changes.
But why can’t I be happy with the size I am now? I’m just under 75kg, a size 12, I’m healthy and I’m fit. Isn’t that enough? For me it simply isn’t. Again, it’s because I set that goal and I would feel so let down and disappointed if I didn’t reach it. However, I do worry about what happens when I get there. Will I stop then? Will I be happy? What about if I’m not? I’m not going to know the answers to those questions until I get there I suppose.
What I do know though is that I love a womanly body so I don’t want to lose my curves or my femininity. I love the look of healthy, toned girls! It’s what I aspire to be. I just hope that’s enough to prevent me from going overboard.
So this is a call to my supporters and friends – give me a cold hard slap if I get to a point where I’ve gone too far (it’s very unlikely)! Because bones are out baby, and curves are IN.